A necessary and thought-provoking post. When my Daddy died 32 years ago, my sister and I got on a hysterical laughing jag immediately after the funeral (I can't remember what set it off) and it seemed to serve as a stress relief valve. So I relate to your observation about what might seem as inappropriate laughter is really part of our c…
A necessary and thought-provoking post. When my Daddy died 32 years ago, my sister and I got on a hysterical laughing jag immediately after the funeral (I can't remember what set it off) and it seemed to serve as a stress relief valve. So I relate to your observation about what might seem as inappropriate laughter is really part of our coping mechanism. I was surprised and pleased that my Utah aunt's funeral last week was live-streamed. I didn't know that was a "thing," but I was glad to participate in that way. When I wanted to video my mom's funeral last year, my sociopathic narcissist sister was furious and refused to let me video anything she or her Mafioso sons said. It was a shame, because she had a wonderful story to tell about Momma and I would have liked to recorded it. The service ended with a their sabotage of the photo presentation I was to give and it was so ugly and mean-spirited (in addition to the other things she did during that time) that I divorced my siblings for good. My son knows my wishes should I be in a persistent vegetative state, as I had a friend who was like that for a decade, and it was her Catholic family's wishes that she be kept alive. I don't think my friend would have wanted that, though. I wrote out a living will as soon as I returned home, and I've told my son I've had a good enough life that I don't want to hang on like that. My ashes are to be scattered around Mt. Rainier and in Big Bend National Park. My siblings are not to be part of any memorial. I wonder how many people write their own obituaries. It sounds like a fun project.
I knew you had severed ties with them but didn't know details about why. Being outright nasty at a memorial service seems awfully... "low" is the most polite word I can think of. It's toxic. Forgiveness is a gift, not an obligation, and I can certainly understand being unwilling to forgive them.
Mt. Rainier and Big Bend feel like appropriate places for you to want someday take flight on the air and rest on the land. I hope your son won't ever need to use your living will. But at least you've made one, just in case.
I have no idea what I would say in my own obituary. I haven't done that. My wife knows only patches about my life before we met, so I guess I should at least jot down some notes. Maybe she should, too.
A necessary and thought-provoking post. When my Daddy died 32 years ago, my sister and I got on a hysterical laughing jag immediately after the funeral (I can't remember what set it off) and it seemed to serve as a stress relief valve. So I relate to your observation about what might seem as inappropriate laughter is really part of our coping mechanism. I was surprised and pleased that my Utah aunt's funeral last week was live-streamed. I didn't know that was a "thing," but I was glad to participate in that way. When I wanted to video my mom's funeral last year, my sociopathic narcissist sister was furious and refused to let me video anything she or her Mafioso sons said. It was a shame, because she had a wonderful story to tell about Momma and I would have liked to recorded it. The service ended with a their sabotage of the photo presentation I was to give and it was so ugly and mean-spirited (in addition to the other things she did during that time) that I divorced my siblings for good. My son knows my wishes should I be in a persistent vegetative state, as I had a friend who was like that for a decade, and it was her Catholic family's wishes that she be kept alive. I don't think my friend would have wanted that, though. I wrote out a living will as soon as I returned home, and I've told my son I've had a good enough life that I don't want to hang on like that. My ashes are to be scattered around Mt. Rainier and in Big Bend National Park. My siblings are not to be part of any memorial. I wonder how many people write their own obituaries. It sounds like a fun project.
I knew you had severed ties with them but didn't know details about why. Being outright nasty at a memorial service seems awfully... "low" is the most polite word I can think of. It's toxic. Forgiveness is a gift, not an obligation, and I can certainly understand being unwilling to forgive them.
Mt. Rainier and Big Bend feel like appropriate places for you to want someday take flight on the air and rest on the land. I hope your son won't ever need to use your living will. But at least you've made one, just in case.
I have no idea what I would say in my own obituary. I haven't done that. My wife knows only patches about my life before we met, so I guess I should at least jot down some notes. Maybe she should, too.